Having worked in the same place for the same employer for over ten years, I have experienced first hand the dip in morale brought about by the exiting of the old and the onboarding of the new, and as I reflect on this iterative process, premised as it always is on loss and change, I am guilty, I realize, of contributing to the plunge in workplace morale because I am forever applying a lens of nostalgia to iterations of my past. Put another way, I am constantly falling into the “life was better then” trap. 

What brings me back is the sobering realization that in all points in history, regardless of how these points of history are perceived, there are pressures, anticipations and payoffs. It’s just that in the present tense, we tend to overweight the pressures and omit the payoffs, a phenomenon which forces us to seek refuge in a past where we perform the same operation in reverse by overweighting the positives and discounting the negatives. 

Why we do this, I don’t know. But it’s not good because when we revere the past, we end up putting it on a pedestal. And this makes it very difficult to attend to current circumstances (which we tend to judge unfavourably alongside the idealized past). 

Basically, we are terrible at appraising our lives. 

So how do we solve for this? How do we go about de-romanticizing a past in the interest of committing to the only tangible thing we have at our disposal – the present? 

They key is to acknowledge that loss is the birthplace of gratitude. And to admit that loss in whatever form is a necessary ingredient to our becoming more aware of our surroundings. Once we accept this fact, we start to pay attention. Appraise things more honestly. Now, we are living. For gratitude leads to a wellspring of character building opportunities rooted in empathy, modesty, truth and openness, which not only aid in the management of life’s ups and downs, but which doubly contribute to the shared sense of values characterizing the heart of the workplace.

For, to acknowledge the role that loss plays in our awareness means not only to stay fixed in the present, but to want to stay rooted in the present, no matter who lives or dies, stays or leaves, no matter the circumstances. 

Taking solace in a skewed version of the past is an attractive notion until you realize that you’re standing in a moment you will, believe it or not, one day look back upon longingly. Live it while you’re in it, said Montaigne, or something along those lines. Because action…responsible action that is, is not possible otherwise. And just how are you supposed to help your people (or yourself) if you can’t act? 

In every moment there is suffocating loss and paralyzing beauty. 

The trick is to not miss out on one at the expense of the other. And to take Montaigne’s words to heart. 

JM.