Let’s not romanticize the squat. It’s one of the most overhyped exercises in the gym—and one of the riskiest when done improperly, which, frankly, is how most people do it.

Even with a personal trainer watching you, odds are you’re not getting it right. They might mutter vague advice like “don’t let your knees go over your ankles,” “sit back a bit,” “keep your weight on your heels,” “head up,” or “try taking your socks off to wake up your proprioception.” Besides that most trainers don’t actually know what proprioception means, none of the above guarantees safe or effective form. Even with a highly trained eye watching every angle—ankle, hip, lumbar spine, and how your femur tracks under load—you’re gambling with your joints.

Still think you’ve got it dialed in? Okay. Ever played golf? Then you know how hard it is to find “your swing.” You’ve got coaches, tips, practice sessions—and still, it’s elusive. That’s what squatting is like. There are so many variables happening at once. Even with coaching, your odds of putting together a clean, safe, mechanically sound squat over time are slim.

And the cost of getting it wrong isn’t just a missed rep—it’s chronic lower back pain, hip pain from tightness or misalignment, pulled ligaments, and long-term impairment that steals years from your mobility.

So don’t do it.

Don’t be the old guy shaking his head when your grandkid wants to shoot hoops in the driveway or play trucks on the floor for fear of not being able to get up again. That’s the legacy of poor squatting mechanics.

And don’t lunge either. Same problem. Same risks.

Instead, try something more joint-friendly. Cable machine back-and-forth walks, for instance. Use a light weight w a simple handle attachment. Walk back slowly, as many steps as the max cable length will allow, then forward, keeping your hips level, shoulders back, head up. It’s dynamic, functional, and far easier on your lower back.

These kinds of movements don’t just build strength—they build movement intelligence. And they protect the only body you’ve got.

Other common gym movements to avoid?

Chin-ups (w palms forward):
Classic chin-ups are an invitation to golfer’s elbow or tennis elbow. Try palms-facing (neutral grip) chin-ups instead. They’re safer on the elbows and more shoulder-friendly too.

Bench press (yep!):
Skip it unless you can see your elbow and wrist alignment from above. A spotter could help in theory, but most aren’t trained to notice technical breakdowns. They’ll just shout, “You got this!” while ignoring the fact that one arm is doing 70% of the work.

A mirror on the ceiling? Sure—in theory. I actually installed one in my poor-excuse-for-a-basement gym during the COVID years. Ah, the COVID years…

But I digress.

Ask yourself: why are you going to the gym?

To look like The Thinker—all muscle and marble? I get it. But let’s be honest:
Dante wasn’t built like that.
He didn’t live long.
And statues? They’re not exactly known for mobility.

Not good news for your grandkid.

JM.